Hey Kelly, where've you been?!

I have been gone for a while (almost two months, it seems). Can you find it in the goodness of your hearts to forgive me? (Or at least start reading again?) I've been flirting with the idea of getting back online for a while, but the world has been a bit of a whirlwind and I needed a bit more time to resettle myself.

The primary reason I've been absent is that I have been out of the country for a while and without consistant, reliable access to the internet. I spent several weeks in June and July living and learning in Mexico. I was involved in a short term study abroad program (through a partnership between DePaul and the CIEL program at the Universidad de La Salle in Mexico City) and also did some travelling around on me own. And yes, a "young thing" like me travelled Mexico alone. Horrors did not befall me. In fact, I met some wonderful new friends and worked diligently to explore and situate the many warnings heaved upon me prior to my departure for Mexico, realizing quite promptly that while attention, tact, and sensitivity were required in my everyday interactions abroad, those "precautions" are strikingly similar to those that are a regular part of my everyday, "safe" life State-side. I guess that's the gift of experiencing things yourself; you are reminded (as is the repeating lesson of life) that what you're told is not always the truth as lived through your own experiences. Thankfully, my time travelling alone gave me space to explore both the physical richness of Mexico as well as my own thoughts about it. While companionship and group-shared experiences hold powerful offerings for growth, sometimes independence yields equally powerful opportunities to process your own thoughts and feelings in a time and space more suitable to your own growth. (Ya feel me?) Anyway, I'm back. And to answer your questions (because people seem to only ask two -- you should work on changing that): "Yes, it was a good trip, and yes, you can see pictures."

One of the reasons I've been hesitant to get back online is that I have this deep desire to "do justice" to my time and experience in Mexico. It's hard to convey to folks the richness of one's own experience in just a few words or images. But I've been working pretty hard trying to. I did this big final project about my travels for class, I've been organizing and sorting photographs (both mine and others) for public displays and thank you packages being sent back to the Mexico, I've been designing program brochures advertising the study abroad opportunity for future students, and so forth, and in some ways I've been finding all of the value judgements I've been making in the process difficult on my mind. Every photograph is being assigned a meaning. Who is being represented (and forgotten)? What stories are being told (or not told)? What images will evoke the desired responses from viewers? What images are close enough to American stereotypes yet different enough to take viewers from what they know to one step closer to a "bigger truth"? And myriads of other questions. I find myself spinning in this representational, storytelling world that is full of hope for growth and change beyond those who travelled themselves, but also threatens to further ingrain stereotypes, injustices, incorrect perceptions, and all sorts of unhelpful things. As I continue to search my own photographs (there are nearly 1200, y'all; I'm a photo-freak; we knew this, right?), I'm continually asking myself what it is that my photographs are saying. Is it possible for this American born and raised girl to catch the soul of Mexican culture in a photograph? Or will the images always be filtered through the lens of my own cultured experience and minds' eye? I photograph things that strike me -- a human being with a very set history that frames how I view the world. That vision changes as I learn and do new things, but will always be through the lens of "me." So what does that mean for my photographs -- my visual markers of cultural meaning, both mine and that which is foreign to me? Who knows.

So, here are some photos. BUT, for once I haven't sorted them to suit a specific, manipulative or thematic purpose (other then narrowing 1200+ images to roughly 50). They are photographs from my time in Mexico that I find beautiful. And not always "beautiful" because they are of beautiful things, though they may be, but because they have meaning to me for whatever reason. Take a look. Make a comment. It's "Mexico through the lens of Kelly, as she tries to leave behind the 'meaning' and find value in mere 'being' instead." (That title is much too long...)

I'm looking forward to being back to chat about other stuff soon. Hope you're all well. 'Til next time...